Setting boundaries is key to living a happier, more productive life. And, although it tends to have a sneaky way of making us feel a little bit selfish about reclaiming our time and energy, setting crystal clear boundaries is one of the TOP secrets to success. Trust me.
The truth is no one can do all everything (as much as we may try) all of the time. We have times in our life where we can be the best friend, the best partner or the best sister or brother, daughter or son, and the best employee.
But there are also times in life where we have to focus on ourselves and do what we can to get through challenging phases. Especially now more than ever we are ALL navigating uncertain times and new scenarios that will mean constantly setting and enforcing new boundaries to protect your peace and energy.
WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES AND WHY YOU SHOULD SET THEM
Think about the phrase: “give a person an inch and they’ll take a mile.”
To me, the only way someone takes a mile if you’re trying to give them an inch is if you didn’t set the right boundaries in place. Okay, they might still take several extra inches – but, with the right boundaries confidently enforced, they’ll never make it to a mile.
Setting boundaries means that you’re putting systems in place to prevent you from taking on too much or overcommitting. Allow us to put up limits to what we can emotionally, physically take on as an individual – at work and in our personal lives. As professionals, setting boundaries can be tough. We want to please our clients, team members, managers etc. Saying no just sounds like you’re not being a team player, right? Wrong.
When you need to create boundaries after a pattern has been established that you’re being the person to stay late, get projects done in a tight turnaround, it can be hard not to feel guilty.
In fact, a lot of people feel like being a “good person” means that they shouldn’t prioritise themselves.
“People whose beliefs are motivated by guilt often fail to set necessary boundaries in their relationships. This guilt comes from believing that prioritising oneself over others is wrong.”
Boundaries should be formed to prevent overwhelm and protects us from experiencing burnout. They’re a safety net that you may need to set up months after you’ve realised a boundary has been crossed.
So let’s talk about how you can go about setting boundaries without feeling guilty.
THREE STEPS TO DROP THE GUILT WHEN FORMING A BOUNDARY:
First, you should be able to answer –
The second phase of this process is to SHARE these new boundaries with friends, family, and colleagues. Practicing transparency in your life will ultimately lead you to living as the best version of yourself. The guilt will be relinquished. I know this can seem daunting, but practice the “new boundaries” discussion with a few friends at first. Then you can slowly implement everything in the workplace.
Finally, make sure you are frequently revisiting how you feel, how well the boundaries have been enforced, and when/why you’ve made exceptions. You can also take a look at any progress you’ve made and see how much your successes have to do with the new boundaries!
So once you implement these secrets (that are no longer a secret!), let me know how they helped you!
For more insight into how you can level up in your career or you life, book in a discovery call to join my ‘RESULT’ flagship 1:1 coaching programme, so we can change the game and help you thrive personally and professionally.